Getting Rid of What Doesn't Serve You
Getting rid of what doesn't serve us gives us a feeling of lightness, freedom, liberation and the ability to control our own destiny. It is freeing ourselves of the things that we have outgrown, which are weighing us down, that we no longer have a purpose for in our lives.
Ridding ourselves of these things can be a different experience for different people. To some, it is decluttering their home from all the objects they no longer want, and to others, it's a complete purge of unwanted emotions, habits, beliefs and people in their lives.
Letting go, no matter what you decide to let go of, creates space in your life for new - more you things to help you build a life which is more comfortable to live in.
Let's explore some of the things you can look at in your own life and why taking stock and assessing these areas would be beneficial for you.
Take a look around your home, one area at a time. Consolidate all of your items in each space and sort through them by creating 3 piles: keep, discard and give away. And just like Marie Kondo says - go through each of these items and see which "spark joy". If something no longer "sparks joy", it is safe to say that you have outgrown the item and you no longer need it in your home - put it in your discard or give away pile.
Going through your home and getting rid of those things which you no longer need refreshes your home and your environment and creates a space which is free of unnecessary clutter and prime for new things which are more you. It also gives you a sense of being more in control and a sense of achievement which you can visually see and enjoy every time you walk into your home.
The same can be said about your wardrobe. All those t-shirts you said you would wear when you lost weight, those dresses which you wore once and those jeans which still have the tags in. It's time to get rid of all the things you don't wear and don't want to wear. Simply empty the contents of your wardrobe on your bed and pick each item one by one and decide whether you want to keep it, discard it or give it away (yes the three piles are back!). This can be quite a fun exercise, why not play some dancing music and have a little catwalk session to fully get in the zone.
What you wear is important. It is how you present and express yourself to the world. What you wear is part of what makes you you. Getting rid of those clothes which don't fit you is getting rid of those things that make you feel bad about yourself and removes the reminder that you are not the size you want to be or the person you want to be. Throwing away clothes which you will clearly never will never wear again creates space in your wardrobe for beautiful new items which you will wear and are more you.
Yes, it's time to tackle your stacks of half empty perfume bottles, shampoo bottles and all those lotions and potions you never use. Take a look at each item and really be honest with yourself, are you going to use this again? If the answer is no - you guessed it, put them in your piles. Maybe check the use by dates too as these may make the decision for you!
Again, removing items which you will never use again will create space in your home for either more you toiletries for yourself or for something else which you are waiting to use the space for.
Assess your lifestyle and ask yourself these questions: What does my daily life look like? What do I like about my day? What don't I like about my day? What needs to change? Why hasn't it changed already?
Make a list of things you do on a daily basis and really go into the granular detail here - and be truthful! Go through this list, take a look at each entry and decide whether you like it or dislike it. If you dislike it, why do you dislike it? Is this something you can change? If the answer is yes, ask yourself, why hasn't it changed already? This way, you tackle root cause of the problem. You can then work towards getting rid of these tasks/activities and changing them to something that will make you happier.
Changing your daily life, even in the most minute way, can make a big difference in your every day happiness levels. You have the power to change your own life and create your own happiness.
Just like assessing your lifestyle, make a list of your habits (the things you do without thinking). Decide which habits you want to keep and which habits you want to release. Those habits you want to release, understand why you do them in the first place - what is your trigger? Once you have decided that you want to get rid of a habit and you understand what the trigger for that habit is, you can then set a more you habit in it's place, knowing that you are less likely to slip.
So, for example, I come home from a tiring day at work and I drink a glass of wine. I want to change this habit because alcohol isn't healthy. I have a glass of wine because I'm tired and I want to fast way to unwind and settle my racing mind. Instead, when I feel this way and I want a glass of wine, I'll pour myself a nice hot cup of calming chamomile tea instead.
Your habits form you and the person you want to be. If you have good, healthy habits then you will ultimately have this lifestyle. If you have bad and unhealthy habits then you will in turn have this lifestyle. You are your habits. Your life is your habits. You can choose who you want to be. Who do you want to be?
Letting go of the lingering negative emotions which do not serve you. Ever just sit and think about a time when someone hurt you and all those feelings of hurt, anger and upset come back to haunt you? When you stew over these thoughts and emotions for so long, they can have a big impact on your life. They can weigh you down, they can cloud your judgement and they can even change your beliefs. Releasing lingering emotions is a healthy process which helps you to feel lighter.
The first step is to decide to let these emotions go - this is the hard bit. Because we have sat with them for so long, they have become part of us and our identity, so being without them creates uncertainty. Once you have decided that you are ready to let them go, grab yourself a journal and a pen and begin writing (or talking to a friend or a professional will help too). Think over the scenario and replay it back in your mind. As you relive the experience, register how you feel when your emotions arise. Write down the emotions - Anger, Hurt, Sad or any other negative emotions which spring to mind. And then just sit. Feel them. How does your body feel? What are you thinking? Then, express yourself. Write down whatever you need to - your experience, why you feel the way you do - or talk about them out loud. Cry if you need to. When you feel you are ready to release your emotions, imagine yourself releasing the emotion into the air, whether this be through outward breaths or just radiating a release. Do you feel lighter? If you feel like you need multiple sessions to do this, feel free to do so. This is a process, your healing process.
Are there things that you do that you wish you didn't? Try assessing your behaviours and attitude by working out what you do, why you do it and what needs to change. If you feel like your behaviour or attitude needs some adjustments then make those adjustments. If you want be a kinder person, then be the kinder person you envisage and naturally, the behaviours and attitudes that you are wanting to rid yourself of will fall away and you will align yourself with your vision. If you catch yourself being unkind, notice that you have been unkind, take responsibility for your actions and apologise if needed. Then begin again.
It's all about intention and repetition and remember change is a process, you are not expected to get everything right first time so be compassionate with yourself when changing something as big as your behaviour and attitude. Changing yourself is hard but the payoff is huge.
Taking stock of your beliefs is an interesting task. You really get to explore yourself and understand who you are. What do you believe - about yourself? About the world? Spiritually? Is there anything within your beliefs which limits you from living the life you want to live, such as limiting beliefs about yourself or the world around you? Why not put your beliefs to the test?
So, for example, you believe that you are not able to complete any tasks on time because you are always late. Why not try to test this belief out and attempt to complete your task on time. If you get it completed on time - you have a false and limiting belief you can get rid of!
Removing limiting beliefs from your life will give you the freedom to explore yourself and get to know yourself - your real self, better. It will give you the opportunity to create more positive, realistic beliefs and views of yourself as well as the view of the world around you. Making better beliefs which are more in line with you, gives you the gift of self-awareness and self-acceptance.
Getting rid of the people you have outgrown in your life is probably the hardest change you can make, but also the most liberating. Those people that make you feel bad and dampen your shine are the people we should remove from our lives - or at least limit our exposure of them.
We deserve to have nice people in our lives who make us feel good and have our best interests at heart. If we have people who do not make us feel good and do not have our best interests at heart then we will not be able to flourish and bloom the way we are meant to.
Take a look at the people around you - if you have a loving, supporting community around you - great - if you think there are people who are not good for you and don't make you feel good about yourself, weed them out of your daily lives so you are happier, more balanced and more comfortable within your environment.
Letting go, no matter what you decide to let go of, creates space in your life for new - more you things to help you build a life which is more comfortable for you to live in. You are in control of your own destiny and you are able to make changes within your life to create your own happiness. No matter how small these changes are. They are little steps to your own version of your life.
I hope this helps.